The Bar Towel

Totally personal and completely "random", but today's the day I start being a stay at home Dad until February.

My wife still nurses the baby frequently, until today, and everything was going good until about 10 o'clock until the baby started looking at me like, "where in the f&%* is Mommy?"

She won't eat what I give her - she finally just fell asleep from exhaustion.

Also - she's either teething or sick, but I think I managed to deal with that with baby tylenol...were any of you guys stay at home dads to babies? I assuming this can only get easier than it is today...

I was a stay at home baby.

When my wife decided to cut out the middle of the night breastfeeding, she decided I should be the one to get up to console our daughter. It was a few nights of lots of crying/screaming, but pretty soon it all worked out.

Things will get easier soon (and in a few years you won't remember the crying anyways .

JeffPorter wrote:She won't eat what I give her - she finally just fell asleep from exhaustion.

Also - she's either teething or sick, but I think I managed to deal with that with baby tylenol...were any of you guys stay at home dads to babies? I assuming this can only get easier than it is today...

Stay at home dad over here!

I was (errr ... still am?) the primary care giver for both kids from 4 months on, no daycare. I've been there through the irrational shrieking phase, solid foods, the terrible twos, toilet training, the terrible tweens, doctors appointments, bugging the vice principal about my kid's bully, and so on (fortunately, no major health issues).

Ummmm ... it's a learning experience for you and your baby.

First: you gotta remember that it's a rough gig being a baby. You're 100% reliant on someone else to look after you, and you've gotta' teach that person to read your signs since you can't talk. And, eventually, you, the dad, will figure it out. Fortunately, kids are resilient. I found with my kids that when the shrieking started, I would go through a list: feed > burp > change diaper > quiet cuddle > carrier.

Second: when you think you've got it figured out, the kid changes. Solid food, changing when s/he sleeps, level of interaction s/he wants. All this changes ... and you have to figure it out on the fly.

Third: by 8 months or so, it becomes more straight-forward to read the little monster's, errr, child's moods as she gets more expressive.

Fourth: bottles can be warmed in teapots in Chinese restaurants.

Fifth: 1 to 2 is a lot of fun. Language? Walking? A measure of independence? All good.

Sixth: 2. Great time to put a kid in daycare.

And, remember, being a baby is a tough gig. You're what ... doubling your size in 6 months? Piecing together your parents' language IN THE WOMB (seriously, it's freakin' amazing)? Dealing with bodily functions? Gaining a measure of control over your limbs? Crazy stuff.

Good luck!

Jason

Yeah, stay at home dad here, too.

What Jason said. LOL

Emphasis on point #2.

To ALL the dads out there whether they are stay at home or go to work... Your wife/partner/significant other just pushed out a watermelon-sized human through the equivalent of a straw.

Think about it.

Man up.

JasonTremblay wrote:And, remember, being a heavy drinker is a tough gig. You're what ... doubling your size in 6 months? Dealing with bodily functions? Gaining a measure of control over your limbs? Crazy stuff.

Jason

This is why I eased back.

Belgian wrote:

JasonTremblay wrote:And, remember, being a heavy drinker is a tough gig. You're what ... doubling your size in 6 months? Dealing with bodily functions? Gaining a measure of control over your limbs? Crazy stuff.

Jason

This is why I eased back.

Hah!

The world is already overpopulated with beer geeks.

Thanks guys - the adjustment is going to be a lot worse for her since my wife has been off with her for the past 10 months, nursing - and now that's kind of stopped at least during the day - it also doesn't help that the baby got sick right now and hasn't really been sick since she was born.

I think we're also going to enrol in some baby classes (i.e. swimming, songs) to help fill the time and distract her from the fact that I'm not Mommy.

JeffPorter wrote: I think we're also going to enrol in some baby classes (i.e. swimming, songs) to help fill the time and distract her from the fact that I'm not Mommy.

I don't know if you are near a public library, but the one near where we live has weekly storytime sessions. My wife has been taking my daughter to them since she could crawl (she is almost 2) and my daughter loves them. Plus the other nice thing is that they are free (at least the ones in Ottawa)

JeffPorter wrote:Thanks guys - the adjustment is going to be a lot worse for her since my wife has been off with her for the past 10 months, nursing - and now that's kind of stopped at least during the day - it also doesn't help that the baby got sick right now and hasn't really been sick since she was born.

I think we're also going to enrol in some baby classes (i.e. swimming, songs) to help fill the time and distract her from the fact that I'm not Mommy.

I take my daughter to Dad and Me group evry Wednesday night at our local Ontario Early Years Center. They have lots of daytime programs, mostly singing or stories, free play and simple arts and crafts ( I have yet to find the project that all the kids thought was complete until all the glitter was used up) . It has been a great resource for us.

I don't know what part of Brampton you are in but it looks like they have a handful of different branches around town. If you go to any of the drop in programs during the day you'd probably be the only Dad there. The lady who runs our program says the Dad's group is by far the most fun and the Dads cause her a lot less headaches than the Moms do.

Spending all day with a toddler sure makes the beer taste better when she goes to bed.

Have fun!

We go the the early years centre on Mondays and Tuesdays and I'm going to sign us up for swimming classes as well, which should help break up the week and just get us out...

Yeah, I'm a fairly involved dad, but staying home was a whole new game.

I tried to get out for a walk in the park every day to maintain some sanity. By the time it was afternoon nap time, I was wiped-out... just enough time to relax with a beer before getting dinner started.

That was almost 4 years ago... we just had our second a few weeks ago: Colin Augustin (he was born in August, which is named after the patron saint of brewing, St. Augustine). So I'll be taking another 10 weeks parental leave next summer!

Congrats on the second child Derek.

My first is due in November so I've been an will be watching this thread closely. Keep us updated on how things go Jeff.

JeffPorter wrote:We go the the early years centre on Mondays and Tuesdays and I'm going to sign us up for swimming classes as well, which should help break up the week and just get us out...

I spent a lot of time at the Y. I'd take both kids swimming (parent and tot drop-in classes or free swim) and / or park them in drop-in (older kids) or babysitting (IIRC, $3 an hour) so I could swim a few laps on my own. And sometimes have a quiet coffee.

10 years later, the babysitters still say hi to my kids!

FWIW, you can also score the youth tax credit for a YMCA family membership so the actual cost is relatively cheap.

Congrats on the new baby Derek!